Alright, admit it, at some point at 3 am, when you couldn’t sleep you broke and joined tinder…..
It’s ok–we’ve all done it. At least as a joke, at first; you don’t really tell anyone. You only do it on the bus or when Aja is talking to you about her fried-pork dinner last night.
You spend a day going through people, crafting stories deciding whether or not she likes you, hates you, or be the perfect girlfriend. Or if you’re like a majority (not all sensitive guys, like me) of the male population you just swipe right.
Then to get a match, “oh that’s cute, I wonder what she looks like”…..
A few days later, you’re on a lot more than you would have liked, getting a little bit to exited for every “JENNA sent you a new message!” Of course you can’t tell anyone, because only loser bro’s named Chad and Mike are on tinder.
A few days later, after Jenna has stopped talking to you, because you were too high and mentioned losing in a “Magic the Gathering” tournament, you finally decide to delete your account. Enough is enough. You’re never going to find a girlfriend on tinder anyway. Delete button pressed, and the weight of a thousand secrets is lifted off your shoulders. You forget about it and life moves on.
Repeat this every 2-6 weeks for about 6 months.
Then one day, your douchey, recovering-alky friend won’t shut the fuck up all the HOT BABES he’s getting matched up with on tinder. Then he goes through his list of things that he automatically swipes left on. (Includes tattoos, smokes weed, and Briggs-Myers).
You realize that, oddly, everyone has a bad tinder date story of some kind….
So I ask you this, my fellow humans. When are we going to get over this whole online dating thing. We’ve all tried it, why hate on it?