Twitter: Twat the Fuck? This Idiot Joins The Legions of Tweeters…

I am so late to the Twitter phenomenon. I remember first creating mine during the 2009 MTV Music Video Awards, when Kanye West grabbed the microphone from a shell-shocked Taylor Swift, and completely dissed her cutesy music video to “You Belong with Me”. I flipped shit at that in complete laughter and disbelief and immediately thought “Oh, this is why people have a Twitter account,”. It has been almost 6 years since I touched it again. I’m pretty sure I had to make another account because I changed my email and subsequently lost the password. Since its inception, Twitter is at the forefront of social media. It is the way celebrities, people in power, even The Pope, can communicate with their fans. With the 140-character limit, millions of people have now condensed entire life stories into minute blurbs.

How does this work?!

How does this work?!

Logging into Twitter again was sublime: both beautiful and very dangerous. I had just semi-mastered Facebook and Instagram. I live in a bubble of my own creation. So, connecting with people who were strangers was a bit nerve-wrecking. After coming up with the best handle I could think of (@fullmetalratch, come at me!), I was a Twitter user! Ok, now what? Um. So. Tweeting. There is no Tweeting 101, unless you want to be a complete idiot and go to the library and check out a Complete Idiot’s Guide to Twitter. Didn’t help, btw. I began to follow some friends and a handful of celebrities I like, such as Daft Punk and Robert Townsend (watch The Five Heartbeats immediately on Netflix!). I even added a Youtuber, Shameless Maya and tagged her in a post. And guess what? She favorited a tweet of mine! (Insert Orgasm sound) WHAT? Oh my God. Best day ever. Twitter is awesome. Except now what? How do I keep the ball rolling?

You see, my life is not very interesting. I write, I work, I sleep, I talk to my friends, and I enjoy hiding behind corners and scaring my cat so her fur puffs up down her spine. That’s what I consider “fun”. Living the sober, controlled life has patches of contentment without the excitement of insanity. It seems Tweeters live life on the fucking edge. Parties and the hashtags! It’s some craziness. “That girl is on the Moon?” “That guy has a new Porsche Cayenne?” “That cat has a hat?!” It got a bit overwhelming. 

Now, that we are doing this blog, we want our readers to be able to find us and know when we put new content up. So, I have joined the legions of tweeters, struggling to become a “trending” hashtag. Will it ever happen? I don’t know, and at this point, I hope it’s for something cool like I saved a baby from a burning building and not “BLK CHK GETS OWNED #FAIL”.

One comment

  1. Beaton · November 8, 2015

    ah i do twitter too lol

    Like

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