This Black Girl Can’t Twerk…

Perhaps it’s because I have acute scoliosis in my spine. Perhaps it’s because I don’t listen to a lot of trap music. Perhaps I’m just not “black” enough. But, alas. I just cannot twerk.

In my opinion, I think the dance is a passing fad, akin to the “bump” or the Electric Slide. But, as long as there are strippers from the Southern United States, twerking will not die. What started out as a spectacle is now a competitive sport! Don’t believe me? In the last few years, the United Kingdom hosted the first annual twerking competitions. That’s right ladies and gentlemen, bouncing one’s ass in a rhythmic fashion could now be a future Olympic sport.

Now that twerking has effectively spread across the world (shoutout to those Korean girls on YouTube!), do I have an excuse? Black American girls were at the forefront of this craze, and once again, I find myself lagging behind the trends. First weaves, now this! Ugh. Am I failing at my blackness? Dear god, have I been demoted to mixed-girl status?! Nooooooooo. 

I hope you can see through the thinly veiled sarcasm. I couldn’t give two shits about performing some weird mating call that would only attract date rapists and deadbeats toward my precious butt. Because it is precious, just like the rest of my body. And, I don’t need to shake it all around for anyone to notice and pay attention. I would rather, as the great Muhammad Ali said, float like a butterfly and sting like a bee. I am the chocolate Madame Butterfly (except I’m not a man in drag, fucking with some French dude… Bad example!) let’s backtrack here.

The whole reason of this post is the idea of expectations when it comes to looking at a person. In light of the horrible conflicts in the world right now occurring by a very select few, it’s important to realize that just because some people perform an act; whether violent, sexual, or comedic, it’s relative to the individual. 

Let’s send our love and support to the peaceful people who may be in the throes of a conflict that isn’t theirs. To the ones who have to suffer the perceived judgements and unwarranted hate. And most importantly, to the ones who can’t twerk. 

One comment

  1. LLCoolJay · February 20, 2016

    You are doing the exact ignorant assumption you accuse others of doing. By saying you can’t twerk= it’s relative is fine. But to say “I couldn’t give two shits about performing some weird mating call that would only attract date rapists and deadbeats toward my precious butt. Because it is precious, just like the rest of my body. And, I don’t need to shake it all around for anyone to notice and pay attention. ” assumes that those who can actually twerk only do so for this and that’s not right either. just say you can’t and it’s wrong to assume but love those still who can cause it’s not always about sex–sometimes it’s about fun.

    Like

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