On the American morning television series, “Today”, tiger-blooded wunderkind Charlie Sheen announced that he is HIV-positive. The coked-out actor has apparently been positive for the virus for the past four years, and allegedly has spent “millions” of dollars to keep the secret. But, that hasn’t stopped the OG Bud Fox from procuring sex workers for longer than I’ve been alive.
So, now America knows. Now what? It seems that Sheen’s ex-partners have been coming out of the woodwork, because when you’re drunk and coked out of your mind for the past 20 years, it’s probably unlikely you can recall every sexual partner you’ve had. TMZ reported that at least 6 women have come forward claiming Sheen deceived them about his status.
It’s a bit unnerving as a woman to think that there are sociopathic men out there who care so little about the lives of others. Of course, there are sociopaths of all genders, races, and creeds, but it seems that Hollywood is the final destination for the borderline. As the Young Alcoholic and I dream of one day moving to Los Angeles, how are we supposed to stay sober and safe while trying to dip a toe into the industry? With drug use almost commonplace, retaining ones sense of self and sanity will be very hard. There will be one hand helping and one hand hurting. We hear of miracles everyday; L.A. : The Place Where Dreams Are Made Of. But, it’s also home to crushed hopes, neglected safety, and desperation for a fleeting moment of fame.
In my heart of hearts, I feel nothing but pity for Mr. Sheen and others like him. He’s immensely talented; the gift that always seems to curse one to a life of deep depression. To be creative is to have a combination of deep-seated narcissism and cripplingly low self-worth, measured by a swirl of paparazzi photos and retweets. Sheen has had to deal with a life of scrutiny; comparisons to his father and brother, failed marriages, and mental illness. And now, looking into the face of America, he’s admitted that his behavior has had consequences that threaten his life. That’s fucking sad.
I see him and other Hollywood players as victims of the industry. It seems almost suicidal to even want to be a part of that. At the same time, I want it. I’ll always want it, but I don’t know if it’ll every make me happy.