Not So Subtle Racism

Cam Newton, quarterback of the Carolina Panthers, likes to dance when he scores a touchdown. Here’s the gist if you don’t follow sports: Cam Newton is black, he dances when he scores a touchdown, and white people can’t fucking stand this. In particular, old white people get REALLY butthurt when somebody dances in the endzone.

Hot take alchemist Skip Bayless (an old white man from Oklahoma/Texas) claims that what he’s upset by is the fact that the QUARTERBACK is doing a dance; it has NOTHING to do with Cam Newton being black. Guess what he doesn’t take umbrage with? Rob Gronkowski spiking the ball. “Because it’s short. It doesn’t take that long.” Rob Gronkowski is also another doofy white guy so he’s gonna get a pass no matter what. Oh yeah, and Gronk has also done some dances in the past too. But that’s OK because…oh wait nobody’s brought that up yet.

A couple months ago, bat flips in baseball was a big talking point in the sports world. Let me break this down for you: white dudes from the south and California don’t do bat flips because they “play the game the right way” and Latin players and Asian players tend to “show up the pitchers” and “show off too much and disrespect the game”. When anybody in any sport talks about the “integrity of the game” it’s an automatic red flag and it means that they’re about to either say something completely insipid and dumb or they’re about to say something racist or ignorant.

Not everybody who hates dancing in the endzone and touch down celebrations is racist. But the numbers and statistics are against you. If you don’t like touch down celebrations then most likely you are an old and shitty dude who hates everything fun and you just suck. But more than that, if you hate touchdown celebrations and bat flips, you probably have some racist or xenophobic hang ups. If you hate dancing AND you feel the need to complain about it and then turn around and feel the need to defend your point because it comes off as racist, then you should drink a bottle of Drano because you’re human garbage.

“Integrity of the game” is code for “it was better before we let coloreds in”. Just like how white people use the word “thug” when they really mean something much much worse. This is not so subtle racism. Somehow, old white people have decided that dancing in the endzone and flipping your bat after a homerun is an act of war on white cultural and human decency.

As your average, white, 22 year old sports fan, I chalk it up to old people being insufferable penises. My dad is that kind of guy who will call Cam Newton a GLORY BOY and then turn around and say “but I’m not racist”. It’s deeply upsetting to me because the worst thing about the not-so-subtle racist bullshit that we have to put up with in America is that it comes from our supposedly progressive and liberal population. My parents are a good example of this: they hate hip-hip, think that people of color are “loud”, hoodies are for thugs, and dancing is a sign of poor morals and a serious lack of character. But they vote on the left and make a point to always criticize the backwardness of the right wing. I’m very sure that this sounds familiar to many other young white dudebros out there. You “liberal/progressive” parents don’t know that there are several English speaking countries in Africa and they will tell you that being gay is fine…as long as YOU aren’t a gay. Drug addiction is a disease…unless YOU are a junkie. The only way that I can compartmentalize this and move on with my life and not get too hung up on it is if I just think about it as a generational thing, which I do think that it is. There’s no way that Gen-X is nearly as ASS as the baby-boomer/post boomer generation.

It seems like a stretch to turn a conversation about racism in sports into a full blown analysis of sociological and ideological differences and conflicts between generations and demographics in America but this is important. Cam Newton’s dancing shouldn’t become ground-zero for an inter-generational culture war but that’s where we are in this country. We’re at war with ISIS and we’re talking about a football player doing some goofy dances just for fun. This is fucking insane and childish when our nation’s capital is being threatened on a daily basis. We do, in fact, have more important things to worry about. This is a moment where we can just paint things with bold lines and chalk this horseshit up to racism. Yes, it is that simple: (mostly older) white people hate it when black people dance. It rustles their jimmies BAD. So much butthurt over a dude just dancing for not even 10 full seconds.

In the immortal words of Al Davis, “GET OVER IT!”



  1. She-Hulk · November 19, 2015

    Well said, dudebro…and I’m a black woman. Well said…I don’t hear many 22 year-olds where I live speak like this, no matter what race they are. Awesome

    Liked by 1 person

    • TEDESTEN · November 19, 2015

      Thank you, She-Hulk. I’m glad that I don’t just sound like I’m talking out of my ass. It’s good to hear that this is a legitimate thing that needs to be addressed. For real, it’s national news that this dude is dancing and then everybody goes “oh it’s just about the dancing…” …no it’s not. We gotta call it what it is: some racist bullshit that’s poorly disguised as a conversation on “humbleness”.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. eddiestarofficial · November 22, 2015



  3. eddiestarofficial · November 22, 2015

    Reblogged this on Eddie Star Blog and commented:
    Wonderfully written. Please follow his blog, if you like content like this.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Aja Penn-Todd · November 24, 2015

    Awwww look at my Teddy 🐻! Fighting in the trenches like Quentin Tarantino. Thank you for this, my dear. It’s hard to be screaming shit like this for years and just now have people start to hear it. Love you!

    Liked by 1 person

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