I “quit smoking” about two months ago. That was a big fuggin’ jklol failure. I thought that getting a job in an office would be a good way to quit because I didn’t want to be rippin’ mad butts outside the building on my breaks and then come back in and straight up reek of cigarette smoke. That feels like an invasion of others’ personal space. I hate smelling like I’ve been rippin’ mad butts when I’m rippin’ mad butts but that’s what happens when you rip mad butts (read: 4 cigarettes a day).
What I did NOT anticipate was that EVERYBODY who works in a call center smokes (read: actually rips mad butts). It’s almost like it’s mandatory. Sitting down all day in an office is a good way to suffer from a stroke. That’s just science. Rippin’ mad butts in between hours long stints of sitting down all day is like a guaranteed stroke. You’re practically asking to have a stroke. I don’t want to have a stroke! I’m a retired teenage heartthrob, I’ve got too much riding on this new comeback to have a stroke. My agent’s gonna kill me.
Four cigarettes is not much. I have never in my life smoked a whole fuggin’ pack of cigarettes. I have no idea how people fucking do it. That seems insane. Don’t you get thirsty?? What the fuck is wrong with people?? One thing that I hate about smoking is that it makes me wicked thirsty and I’m already thirsty all the time whether or not I’m smoking. I probably have diabetes.
It’s been a shitty time trying to ditch my 4-cigs a day habit. It’s not exactly costly but it still sucks and I’d rather not be smoking. I like chewing gum and packing a big fat lip of sunflower seeds but it just doesn’t give me the same buzz, bro. I miss that RUSH. Problem is, cigarettes make me tired. I already feel like I could fall asleep anywhere at any time. I’m at work right now and if you told me to fall asleep I’d do it. On command. That’s probably a bad sign and indicative of some larger health problem that I should probably address. It’s probably diabetes again.
Anywhom, I’ve had my “last cigarette” this morning (again). I was down to half a cigarette a day but then I started working at a call center. Who knew! I didn’t. But whatever. So far so good.
I sort of like smoking as a crutch when I’m struggling with not drinking or smoking weed. It’s been 6-months since I smoked marijuana but my god if it was as easily accessible as alcohol, I’d be smoking it.
Cigarettes are dangerous. They’ll kill you pretty fuggin’ quickly, dOOd. And in the gnarliest ways possible (like a stroke). Mostly though, cigarettes make me unbelievably tired so I’m finally quitting for real this time. I just really don’t want to have a stroke.