I don’t know how anybody does it. I just got done with my third week of work at this call center. It’s still going well. I survived Thanksgiving! I hope you did too. I’ve literally been just sleeping and working and sleeping and working. For real though, working full time with depression is exhausting. I don’t know what’s harder to do with depression, full time work or taking on a full course in school. Good or bad or ugly, I can sleep through pretty much anything whether I want to or not.
I’m starting to notice a pattern with basically everything I do: after about two weeks, I hit the wall and all I want to do is sleep. This is a red flag. This is not a good sign. Never getting out of bed and shutting yourself away from the world for extended and worrisome periods of time is a textbook sign of depression.
In the past, I’ve tried to fight it off and fight through it and that’s been a terrible idea. This time around (this past weekend) I just decided to lay down and give into the dreaded sleepies. It wasn’t bad! I hate being tired but trying to pound coffee by the gallon and wake up when you just can’t is awful. That’s been my approach in the past. This time, I just gave in and didn’t fight it. It wasn’t a way of giving up but the way I’d like to think about it is that I listened to my body.
Sleeping it off is one way to manage. I feel tired all of the time and it doesn’t seem to matter what I do but sleeping feels good. I definitely gotta address this chronic fatigue because this is most likely a bad sign.