About

100% DEATH PROOF

The (B)Easter Bunny

My name’s Ted and I’m a recovering alcoholic. That dumbass in the bunny ears with the broken arm (pictured above) is me. I’m 22 years old and I just got out of detox and rehab and I just dropped outta college for the second time. I live in my mom’s basement with my cat in New Hampshire and I decided that my friends had some goodass stories to tell. If you’re also quitting drugs like me, I hope that you read our shit and at the very least have a laugh.

This is the world as we understand it! And if you relate and feel us and where we’re coming from then hit us up! We’d love to hear from you, amigo.

THE PROFESSIONAL V.I.P.

Access Never Denied

Dear Reader!

Quitting drugs? Living without a thyroid? Been to jail? Do you live in your mom’s basement? Maybe feelin’ blue? Are you wondering about what’s good that’s going on in the world? READ THIS SHIT! You’re not the only one out there asking dumb questions; that’s our bread and butter, baby!

What do a recovering alcoholic Masshole, your #blackgirlbestfriend from Ohio, and glass blowin’, Jewish artist from Seattle all have in common? We’re all PROFESSIONAL V.I.P.’s and were born with a License to ILL. We at the Professional V.I.P. are here to report on the news behind the news. ACCESS NEVER DENIED!

There’s a lot going on out there. Our correspondents bring you the answers to all of your questions that start with, “What’s good?” We’ll tell ya what’s good! Don’t be afraid! It’s ALL good!

Love,

The Professional V.I.P. Staff

(Miles, Aja, and Ted)

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